There are several kinds of loneliness.Knowing what type of loneliness affects us more may help us respond more effectively. It is problematic when we expect one person to fill all these different kinds of loneliness. Recognizing, accepting, and responding to loneliness should be a key element of socio-emotional education to all children. Part of the addiction epidemic we see today, as well as relationship obsession (sometimes leading to extremes of violence), could be prevented, if young people can recognize loneliness, embrace it rather than judge it and respond to it appropriately.
7 types of loneliness :
1) Situational loneliness: this is the kind of loneliness that relates to social occasions and situations, such as having people to go out with on a Saturday night, during celebrations, holidays or trips. It can be more easily satisfied than other types, as it relies on being open, friendly, asking questions and being in a place with other people, open to socializing.
2)Caring loneliness: this type relates to the need of having people who care about you, who will seek you out when they haven't heard from you.People who will feel compassion for you, when you are in pain, but will also rejoice when you have successes. Caring is a necessary ingredient of a good friend, and harder to find.It takes great discernment to find people who a) have the quality of caring for others and not just taking, b) have availability for friendship in their lives. Also, to receive caring from friends one has to be a caring friend himself.
3) Communicational loneliness: this type relates to sharing values, ideas,views on life. This type of loneliness can nowadays be more easily satisfied through connection with like-minded groups, focused on a common good cause. Whether in person or online, the sharing of ideas/ debating can give the individual a strong sense of connection that may even develop into friendships. In general, participation in groups with whom we share common values, is very life-affirming and seems to last longer than other types of connection.
4) Affection loneliness: this relates to the lack of physical affection and expressions of tenderness, such as baby talk. All too often people get involved with inappropriate partners, only to fill this need. It can lead to superficial, even harmful, connections. However, the need for affection can, to a certain extent, be satisfied through a pet. Stroking or hugging a pet can give much comfort, and pets never betray!
5)Loneliness due to lack of honoring: this relates to lack of recognition, appreciation and even, admiration, that for example, a woman needs from.her husband or a child from his/her parents.It is a healthy part of the narcissistic need for positive mirroring. Many women feel deprived in this sense.They feel devalued, dishonored, ignored, contempted in their intimate relationships. The answer to this need is self-love. You are the one who can give this honoring to yourself. For women in particular, it is more important than ever to give this honoring to ourselves.It is the key to eradicating violence against women. A woman who honors herself doesn't stay in dishonoring relationships.
6) Loneliness as a societal norm: Most cultures place an expectation on companionship, marriage,family etc and being alone is often treated with suspicion, judgement, stigma. So,for alone people it is not only the lack of companionship itself, but the loss of social status that accompanies it and often,the societal exclusion. The important thing to remember is that societal norms always judge. Even the most successful families will have comments behind their back about shortcomings. Social status is a construction that becomes important, only if you give it importance.
7) Spiritual/Existential loneliness: it is the inner longing that there's something more to life than getting distracted with socialising or workaholism. It is the longing for meaning and inspiration and beauty. It is the nostalgia for something very sweet and long lost. The only way to soothe this kind of loneliness is the spiritual path. This path takes hard work, daily practice and much persistence. Its fruits come slowly and scantily, but they last and they truly have a deep effect. Ultimately, the healing of spiritual loneliness through our reconnection with God has repercussions on all areas of our life, including all types of loneliness.
Victoria Prekate, 16/12/2021
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