Sexual attraction and power

 Sexual Attraction can be one of the most effective ways for losing your power to someone else- especially if, that someone aims at taking your power and manipulates towards it, knowing you are attracted to him/her.It never seems this way at first. Sexual attraction has a way of distorting your thinking, of skewng reality, of discarding all the warning signs that are obvious to everyone else. Unconscious sexual attraction can lead you to willingly give your power away to the other person. If you're unlucky enough to be attracted to a narcissist, he/she will manipulate you into thinking that he/she is the one giving. But gradually, you may feel that you are giving to him/her and it is not that voluntary. It is expected, almost demanded. Sexual attraction is the means through which the person can most effectively manipulate you into giving your power, especially your spiritual power.It is no accident that all major religions strongly advise against casual sex. The area of the body where symbolically creativity and survival lies is often very unsettled, almost reorganized through sex.And if this happens in a context of a safe marriage, it helps expand you power in co-creation with another.But if there is the slightest hint of selfishness, narcissism, ego agenda, then through sex the pother person has good access to your power. If the other person has none of their own, they ll take yours.

The strongest the attraction, the greater potential to take your power.Be wary when the attraction is so strong that it seems irresistible.Theamount of irresistibility is directly proportional to the amount of power you may lose. Losing your power to another means that you fear them, yet you stay with them, that you obsess about them, yet you don't want to, that you keep arguing in your head about what to say to them, but you never do, that you are resentful about them, but you hide it, that you hurt about them, but hide that too. Losing your power to them means that if you stop seeing them, nothing in life seems juicy or tasty. It means  thinking that your experience in life doesn't count unless you are with him. This is the time to try as much as you can to dampen your sexual attraction to them.Think of all the times they fell short, they acted weak and small.Think of all the moments your life was rich and fulfilling outside the relationship. Pull yourself away from the people who admire them.Cultivate your relationship with your spiritual source to start getting your power back. Power drainage through sex and sexual attraction is rampant especially among young and inexperienced people, who, in a distorted view of liberation, let them selves loose to energy vampires. Then it can take decades to take themselves back. Be careful when the attraction makes you ache. True falling in love makes you see everything else in a wondefrul light. Vampire sexual attraction makes everything else look dull and unworthy and your life energy is drained out. Be careful who you have sex with. Don't gove your self away easily and be especially careful of those who are charismatic, popular, the ones that everyone seems to be falling in love with. Keep your energy for those who are worth it and almost certainly then, the attraction builds gradually (not suddenly) in a peaceful, liberating way. 

Victoria Prekate, 22/12/2021

7 types of loneliness and what to do with it

There are several kinds of loneliness.Knowing what type of loneliness affects us more may help us respond more effectively. It is problematic when we expect one person to fill all these different kinds of loneliness. Recognizing, accepting, and responding to loneliness should be a key element of socio-emotional education to all children. Part of the addiction epidemic we see today, as well as relationship obsession (sometimes leading to extremes of violence), could be prevented, if young people can recognize loneliness, embrace it rather than judge it and respond to it appropriately.

7 types of loneliness :

1) Situational loneliness: this is the kind of loneliness that relates to social occasions and situations, such as having people to go out with on a Saturday night, during celebrations, holidays or trips. It can be more easily satisfied than other types, as it relies on being open, friendly, asking questions and being in a place with other people, open to socializing. 

2)Caring loneliness: this type relates to the need of having people who care about you, who will seek you out when they haven't heard from you.People who will feel compassion for you, when you are in pain, but will also rejoice when you have successes. Caring is a necessary ingredient of a good friend, and harder to find.It takes great discernment to find people who a) have the quality of caring for others and not just taking, b) have availability for friendship in their lives. Also, to receive caring from friends one has to be a caring friend himself.

3) Communicational loneliness: this type relates to sharing values, ideas,views on life. This type of loneliness can nowadays be more easily satisfied through connection with like-minded groups, focused on a common good cause. Whether in person or online, the sharing of ideas/ debating can give the individual a strong sense of connection that may even develop into friendships. In general, participation in groups with whom we share common values, is very life-affirming and seems to last longer than other types of connection. 

4) Affection loneliness: this relates to the lack of physical affection and expressions of tenderness, such as baby talk. All too often people get involved with inappropriate partners, only to fill this need. It can lead to superficial, even harmful, connections. However, the need for affection can, to a certain extent, be satisfied through a pet. Stroking or hugging a pet can give much comfort, and pets never betray! 

5)Loneliness due to lack of honoring: this relates to lack of recognition, appreciation and even, admiration, that for example, a woman needs from.her husband or a child from his/her parents.It is a healthy part of the narcissistic need for positive mirroring. Many women feel deprived in this sense.They feel devalued, dishonored, ignored, contempted in their intimate relationships. The answer to this need is self-love. You are the one who can give this honoring to yourself. For women in particular, it is more important than ever to give this honoring to ourselves.It is the key to eradicating violence against women. A woman who honors herself doesn't stay in dishonoring relationships. 

6) Loneliness as a societal norm: Most cultures place an expectation on companionship, marriage,family etc and being alone is often treated with suspicion, judgement, stigma. So,for alone people it is not only the lack of companionship itself, but the loss of social status that accompanies it and often,the societal exclusion. The important thing to remember is that societal norms always judge. Even the most successful families will have comments behind their back about shortcomings. Social status is a construction that becomes important, only if you give it importance. 

7) Spiritual/Existential loneliness: it is the inner longing that there's something more to life than getting distracted with socialising or workaholism. It is the longing for meaning and inspiration and beauty. It is the nostalgia for something very sweet and long lost. The only way to soothe this kind of loneliness is the spiritual path. This path takes hard work, daily practice and much persistence. Its fruits come slowly and scantily, but they last and they truly have a deep effect. Ultimately, the healing of spiritual loneliness through our reconnection with God has repercussions on all areas of our life, including all types of loneliness. 

Victoria Prekate, 16/12/2021